#super dark times headcannons

[julesinsummer]

Theodore Nott Headcannons

so quiet, like so quiet some people think he's mute

not one to follow along with the group

100% sleeper build

likes to leave his hair just a bit too long (he thinks it adds to his charm)

when he does talk, he's so well-spoken he can sound like an aristocrat

sneaky! will definitely be the brains behind any scheme and find a way to never get pegged as being a part of it

so smart. like a genius. doesn't like to show it off or be a know-it-all, but he knows it all.

best at charms, but isn't bad at any subject

he stares openly and blatantly at anyone or anything

idgaf attitude always

any time he and his friends hang out or chat, he's the funniest out of all of them

unpopular! i don't think he'd sleep around. i think he's distant and a bit closed off, so not many girls would approach him, nor he them

super high standards

when he does finally settle down and date a girl, that will be his wife. no questions.

he WORSHIPS the ground you walk on

doesn't get riled up easily after so many years of dealing with his father, but when he does... chaos.

nothing makes him angrier than someone disrespecting his soon-to-be-sometime-in-the-future wife. he'd probably (would) kill for you

during the war, he took a backseat as a part of the dark lord's brain power

he used it to make sure you were out of harm's way

post-war he'd marry you immediately and cut off anyone who didn't like it or said anything untoward about your relationship

he'd do anything for you and wouldn't hesitate

he'd be the best father because he'd do everything right, unlike his father

i love him.

[lvndosnorris]

🍒anon here !

sooo i had a smut headcannon idea of fewtrell!reader and lando on vacation with max and they have to be super careful bcs of max and they almost get caught a few times

turned this into a forbidden love trope because i eat that up every! single! damn! time!

you're not even sure how you got roped into going on holiday with your brother and his best friend

trying to convince yourself that you hadn't been away in ages and that it would be good for you to get away for a bit

but the minute the vacation actually started and you felt the sun warm your body from the inside out you weren't complaining

often shooing the two men out of the villa during the day so you could laze around by the pool and just absorb the calmness

stripping down to barely nothing as you scooted around private garden, your music humming through your phone as you persuaded yourself to make a little drink

nearly leaving your body as you bumped into lando, your fear audible as you clutched your chest and tried to suppress your fright with an awkward giggle

"i didn't know anyone was back— you're not meant to be back 'till this evening!"

all he'd do is cock his eyebrows, glancing only briefly down at your lack of coverage as you crossed your legs over and waited for him to do whatever he was doing and then leave again

he'd make some smug remark about how he might just have to stick around the villa if this was the case

his words sticking with you as you'd finally shoo him off

ears ringing with what he'd said

because surely you misheard it? or perhaps got the wrong idea

only you'd be stirred from your downtime as it got dark by a soft knock at your bedroom door

confused as you opened up to see lando stood there, arms crossed over his chest as he'd ask if you were up to much

and you didn't know how he managed to make his way into your room but there was he; sprawled over your bed as he fiddled with one of your bead bracelets that he'd pinched from the bedside table as you hummed over his list of never ending questions

finally asking him if there was anything you could help with, why he was here

"i haven't been able to get you out of my head"

that simple sentence being the downfall of your sanity as only a mere few minutes after you found yourself on your knees for him

for lando

your brother's best friend

shushing him as you traced over his tip with your thumb, watching him wince and pout down at you teasingly

barely able to keep composure as he pushed at the back of your head, slipping his cock just a little further into your mouth as you hummed around him amusingly

eager to hear more of how your name sounded coming from him but knowing you'd be dead if anyone ever found out

tugging up your shirt a little as it sat just under your chin, tits on full display for lando as you sucked and kissed his length until he was threatening to cum right there on the spot

and he did — forcing you to stay still as he twitched and finished in the back of your throat, rocking his hips a few more times before slowly pulling back

his forefinger swiping at the corner of your mouth, pushing it between your lips as you sucked the remained of his seed from the pad of his finger

of course that one encounter didn't stop there

the two of you spending the next few weeks tip-toeing around max as you sought for every moment where you could be alone

lando making lame excuses as to why he'd meet him there so he could have you right there and then on the sun-loungers around the pool

clamping a hand over your mouth as he curled two fingers inside of you, your wetness coating his wrist in a delicious sheen as you felt your eyes roll back

being dragged back to reality as lando heard the faint shouting from max who had suddenly popped back because he forgot his wallet

the feeling of lando being pressed above you gone as he stumbled to his feet, adjusting his obvious erection as he'd finish fixing himself just as max popped his head around the double doors

confused as he asked why he was out here with you when he told him he was going to the shops for something

sneaking into your room after max had passed out on the sofa whilst watching some rerun of an old show

kissing you in between telling you that you have to stay quiet

only for you to ignore his demand as soon as his tip was stroking against your clit, lando's eyes narrowed as he focused on trying to keep you silenced whilst teasing himself in the process

head stuffed in the crook of your neck as he finally got to feel you clench around him, slipping in just a little deeper with every thrust as you clawed helplessly at his biceps and his shoulders

scolding you in whimpers as he tried to think of some excuse for when max would no doubt see the marks

[desireangel]

Dark Cherry [3] | Aemond Targaryen

Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader

Summary: after months of a marriage that hardly harbours the passion that you'd dreamed about, you stumble across the reason for your husband's indifference and decide enough is enough. Aemond will learn just exactly what he's been missing out on.

Word Count: 6.9k

Warnings: MDNI 18+!! smut, angst!!!!!!, unedited, infidelity, revenge cheating, oral (m receiving), kinda slightttt dub con if you squint w/ Aegon x reader, Aemond is frustrating, so is reader tbh, slight deviation from canon? again, if you squint, soft!aemond if you also squint. But also---angry Aemond (rahhhhhh), tell me if I've missed any warnings!

Author's note: my APOLOGIES on the wait, y'all. Hopefully this scratches an itch!! it's 11PM here, which is the earliest I've ever posted a fic funnily enough. I also reallyyyyy appreciate the love on this series so far!!! Love you all. As always, please don't hesitate to comment or to interact or hmu in my inbox w/ me bc I LOVE yapping with you guys. Send in feedback or criticism (but like I'll cry if it's super mean) or some headcannons!! or even your best dad joke. Anyways, xoxo kisses!!! <3

Masterlist

Aemond Targaryen was an intelligent man. Yet for some reason, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had been acting as the realm’s largest imbecile. 

Time and time again, Aemond had let his ego and his pride run ahead of his brain, and had failed to think of the effect that his actions had on people other than himself. Sure, he cared for those who were important to him. His sister, his mother, his grandfather, Ser Cole, Aegon (although Aemond may not have realised it) and even to some extent his wife. 

He realised, perhaps too late, that you may as well be a stranger to him. And at one point, Aemond had truly believed that keeping whatever unlucky woman he was to wed at arms length would be for the best. 

The first time he met you was insignificant. It was as per tradition and formality. Aemond’s interactions up until the wedding was mainly with your family, despite the efforts you made to acquaint yourself with him properly. You were much more timid then, shyer than Aemond had expected from the to-be wife of a weaponised prince. But then again, he had only assumed that a Lady like his mother would have been chosen for him; confident, cunning and strong-headed. 

At the time he had begun to understand you better, Aemond had lost track of himself. A sort of descent into darkness where he went from a young prince to a man, eager to prove himself at whatever cost. Satisfied by the control he gained through fear, strength and reputation. Now that he had stopped to think about his marriage, after you had left him hard and desperate in his own bed, Aemond came to realise a few things. 

You were a purity among the wickedness and politics of the Red Keep. An inherently good person and a woman of grace, kindness and compassion. He had already noticed the dwindling of those traits brought on by your new life, confined to the walls of a fortress that was littered with deceit, distrust and gore. Aemond was a far darker entity than you–he had accepted this fact after the first true conversation you shared. 

Corrupting you was both tempting and terrifying. Aemond had always been loveless–deprived of the affection he craved and deserved but also clueless about how to give that affection. And while he wished he could learn how to right himself and how to quell the carelessness of his temperament and the destruction that was left in its wake, Aemond didn’t know how to. 

Perhaps it would come naturally. He was a lot more open to that notion now, despite the fact that most of him was convinced he was incapable of such change. 

Aemond regretted–something he didn’t feel often–how he had pushed you away. Even if he had not intended to. 

Because now, he was starting to see you as you were. A woman who had far more of an influence over his emotions than he realised–a woman who he had begun to crave the affections of in such an intensity that it only served to scare him away from you. At one stage, you had been another stranger among the walls of his home bound to him in nothing but title but, at some point throughout this ridiculous game that he had stupidly encouraged, Aemond had started to see you as his wife. 

The whore that he had let into his bed was not actually a whore. It was a woman Aemond had known–a witch whom he had shared the pleasures of his body with before the two of you had wed. Alys was always eager for him and once, he would have returned it with his own enthusiasm. Not anymore. She was simply an easier option. A whore would never sully the sanctity of his chambers. It wouldn’t have made a difference if he had been honest and told you that Alys was not from the Street of Silk. 

To anyone who came asking, including you, Aemond would first admit to taking a whore into his bed than a lowly witch.

He cursed himself for letting his honour fall so short that this is what it took for him to wake up. For him to have tainted his loyalty to you, to have let a woman whom he could barely get it up for shatter the confines of his marriage, for him to have been left unwound with a hard cock, his hand and only the scent of you on his thigh to release the tension that was driving him mad. 

Aemond wished he hadn’t been so short sighted. He would subject himself to whatever punishment he deserved should it be the burn of a whip against his back or the sickening ache of starvation if you were to demand it. 

All of a sudden, in the days that had passed since your encounter on his bed, Aemond found himself looking for you throughout his day. He hoped you��d cross each other in the halls, cursed the world for keeping him too busy to spend an afternoon with you in the gardens, sworn at the war that was raging for binding him to his duties and keeping you apart. 

So at the first opportunity he had to take time for himself and for the first time in your short marriage, Aemond had called upon you to join him for afternoon tea.You stared at the young servant who had been sent to retrieve you, half wondering if you had heard the boy incorrectly. Had he called you simply one moon ago, you would have dropped everything you were doing to meet your husband for tea with a grin and a skip in your step at the prospect of finally spending time with him on his own accord. 

But now? It both excited you and infuriated you. 

You gave the boy a soft smile, holding your reserve together when his face dropped at your refusal. “You may tell my husband that I am otherwise attended to for my tea.”

It wasn’t a lie. You had important plans for the afternoon with the other Targaryen son. 

The servant stood still for a moment. “Yes, my Lady.”

“The rest of my afternoon is already engaged with the King,” you purposefully added, a mixture of adrenaline and excitement beginning to simmer in your belly. “Tell him I will take tea with him another time.”

You were walking away from your chambers before the servant had turned to leave. A part of you felt bad for him. Anyone would be wary of delivering rejection to a prince. It felt as if you were sending him to his death in a way, knowing that the seemingly innocent excuse was balancing on a wire that was already frayed. If the young servant had known of your sly plan for revenge, he would have spoiled his breeches. 

There was a chance Aemond would catch on straight away. There was a chance that he would take a little longer. 

Either way, so long as he caught on, everything would unfold in your favor.

Aegon had been waiting for you, a mischievous smile on his lips at the sight of you eagerly rushing towards him. He was an immature and distracted King, and he was definitely not without his flaws, but he had never been bad to you. Sometimes, you even appreciated Aegon’s efforts to involve you in conversation or to pull a smile out of you when you had clearly been distressed. Nonetheless, he was still an infuriating cad and you had often considered giving in to violent urges at the way he treated Helaena. 

Helaena. 

A stab of guilt in your gut at the thought of her. Sure, she had confided in you on numerous occasions and you knew she felt little care for Aegon’s outwards ventures with women but you knew she was saddened by the state of her marriage. And here you were, as wretched as the whore that Aemond had bedded. It was no different; you were doing the same thing as her. Only it wasn’t your job; you weren’t doing it for the money. 

The satisfaction of bringing Aemond down to the same level he had brought you to was all the motivation you needed. It would be treading a thin line but it would be worth it. 

“I had wondered how long it would take you to find yourself in my chambers, Princess,” Aegon’s voice held that boyish shrill he had never grown out of. The way he had stepped aside to let you pass, eyes holding yours through his lashes as he dipped his head with a grin. “For a cup of tea, of course.”

Comparing Aegon’s chambers to Aemond’s was instinctual. It was brighter here, messier and there was an unkempt feel to the furniture despite the servant’s having kept things relatively put together. A King’s chambers, it was; grand and large and adorned with all sorts of artistry. Aemond’s chambers had held a darker tone; presumably because Aemond was sensitive to light on his blind eye and somehow even the glow of light from the lamps were deeper and warmer. 

You liked Aemond’s chambers better. 

“It has been overdue, Your Grace,” you weren’t sure of that. “Thank you for indulging me this afternoon. I wager a King such as yourself is no short of duties to tend to.” 

Aegon scoffed, pouring himself a cup of wine as he watched you take a seat at the small settee from the corner of his eye. “My family seems to be taking care of my duties on my behalf. I am a king in nought but title, you see.”

There was nothing you could say at his unbridled honesty. Aegon was different to most of the people who presided here in that way. He cared little to hide behind a facade of false indifference and stoicism. 

He fell to the cushion beside you, close enough so you could smell the drink he balanced in his hand. Aegon laid back lazily, resting on his elbows and watching you as you sat pin-straight and brought the piping tea to your lips. “‘Tis not a concern. I would much prefer to have more comely company than those clueless cunts who sit on my counsel.”

“I do not doubt that, Your Grace,” you coughed lightly, growing alarmingly aware of the fact that you hadn’t thought about how this was going to play out. There was absolutely nothing that you knew about seducing a king. No less, a king with Aegon’s track record. “I beli-”

“You have been different,” He cut you off. Swiftly pushing himself up so that his face was beside yours, breath tickling the strands of your hair that had fallen loose across your cheek. Aegon’s lips were gently turned up as his eyes traced every curve of your face. 

Swallowing thickly, you will yourself to meet his eye with confidence. The curiosity in his familiar violet eyes was paired with an immature lust and you wondered if he had any idea how easy it could be to use his forward thinking cock against him were you a woman of cunning ambitions. You didn’t miss how his gaze flickered across your throat and towards the curve of your chest. 

But something in the way that Aegon looked at you in that moment, like you were a woman of such beauty that he would risk whatever consequences were sent his way just to feel your touch sent a slither of saddened longing across your chest. Not even your husband had made you feel as if you were so captivating. 

It made the knowledge of how ever long you’d be alone with him far easier to stomach.

“I do not know of what you mean, Your Grace.”

Aegon laughed, bringing his face so close to yours that the point of his nose touched against your cheek. His hand fell to rest flat just above your belly, brazenly close to where your dress tucked underneath the curve of your breasts. 

“I know well when a Lady is not…” he dragged his nose across your soft skin, eyes carefully watching your reaction. “Sufficiently satisfied by her husband.”

Your breath hitched at how quickly Aegon had set his target. “If you mean to-”

“Does my dear brother forego his duties for the comfort of whores, perhaps?”

Pursing your lips, you gently turned your face so that your lips were centimetres away from his, Aegon’s fringe brushing across your forehead. There was a ringing in your ears, a nervousness about how you were so close to betraying your husband and how you were unsure that you could handle the fallout of what was definitely about to happen. Things are much different for women; infidelity and adultery would be grounds for far worse than simply an annulment. This world was not so kind to a lady who partakes in the same treachery as a lord.

Above all, you were conflicted.

“It seems my husband is no different to any other man who does not hunger for his wife.”

“I hunger for his wife,” Aegon all but moaned at the way your lips nudged closer to his. He cocked his head to the side and pressed his fingers into your flesh. “But I am no fool, my Lady. Aemond has always been the sole object of your gaze. You are here for more sinister reasons, I suspect.”

You blinked. Why did these Targaryen princes so often seem to be one step ahead?

It was a relief that he had not moved away from your closeness. In fact, Aegon leaned further into it. His smile never faltered and he waited patiently for you, watching as you thought of your next moves. There was a flush of embarrassment that prettied your skin and it was clear that your facade was close to crumbling. Aegon was not a man you desired in such a way. Merely a means to an end. 

So you sighed, resigning to the fact that being honest with Aegon would be best. 

“You are right,” you muttered. He shook with a silent laugh at your bravery and the way your chin remained turned up. “I-I believe you are aware of my intentions, Your Grace. Will you have me dragged back to Prince Aemond’s feet or will you allow my scheme?”

Aegon was in front of you in a matter of seconds, bending down so that he met your height as you stayed seated. “I would risk meeting the wrath of a man whose temperament and pride are unchained.”

“Teach me how to make it worth it then, my King,” you held strong in forcing the tremble out of your voice. You didn’t want to bed him entirely–absolutely not. Just what you had seen through the gap in Aemond’s door would be more than enough and there was a bubbling gratification in your stomach knowing that Aemond would not be able handle what he had so easily served out. 

His hand held the back of your neck and he jerked forward to catch your lips, grunting when you turned your head from him. You couldn’t kiss him. You weren’t interested in kissing him–only fulfilling the steady thrum of excitement at the need to both experience what you had been teased with and show your husband that he should be sorry. 

In fact, and you were loathsome to even rationalise it, you felt sick at the thought of kissing him. And you felt a little drop in your gut at the thought of taking him in any kind of way but it was different. Less frightening than kissing a man you were trying so hard to convince yourself was sexy enough.

There was no man for your body’s desires aside from Aemond Targaryen-–

A deep breath and you looked at Aegon through your lashes, bringing your fingers to feel the softness of his lips. “I do not want you to fuck me, Your Grace. But show me how I may give you pleasure with my mouth. And how a man can satisfy me with his.”

Aegon became excited at your use of such foul language, his hand remaining behind your neck as he straightened and guided you roughly to his hips, groaning as your hands instinctively found his thighs and moved upwards. He was painfully hard in his breeches–he had been since the first moment you looked at him with that stubborn intent and purpose. 

There was a strong urge to push him away but you fought through it. 

“I am sure your husband is already searching for his brazen little vixen,” Aegon watched as you breathed heavily, your chest heaving and your soft breasts pressing against the tightly laced corset of your dress. “And I am sure you wish for him to find us. Very cunning of you, I must say.” 

His touch didn’t pull that feeling from you. The feeling of Aemond’s touch that had made you feel as if you were floating in lava and drowning in a molten heat that could only be quelled by him. But it made your blood rush down, growing sensitive between your thighs at the prospect of pleasuring a man who openly lusted for you and had no care for hiding it. 

Aegon didn’t care for games that shattered your self-worth. He didn’t care to make you feel lesser than a whore for your curiosity of how it felt to have a man tremble from your mouth. All he wanted was to feed his appetite for you–the beautiful Lady who he had envied his brother for having to himself.

“I want to learn how to do it,” you whispered, melting into Aegon’s guidance as he hastily fiddled with the embellishments on his tunic to undo half of it and push the velvet fabric out of the way. The laced belt at his waist was discarded in seconds and you took little time to pull him out of the confines of his breeches. “So I can–so I can show him.”

There was a certain light headed nervousness that you felt when you realised that you don’t actually know how to do what you wished to. It seemed easy enough when you watched how that woman had given Aemond her mouth but now that you were faced with trying it out yourself, you worried how you would fare. Aegon triggered a natural response from you, one that you had learned was instinctual of human bodies, but you just could not find him desirable. 

Momentarily, you doubted you could find it in you to disregard your aversion to the King. An aversion that suddenly became more pressing an issue than it was merely seconds ago.

Aegon must have noticed your apprehension because he guided you forward, the hardened length of his cock brushing against your face. He was breathing heavily when he spoke. “Lick it. Use your tongue first and then-fuck, that’s right-” you hesitantly followed his instructions, dragging the tip of your tongue across the sides of him, gentle flicks down to the base and then a long stripe up to the top. It was an invigorating thrill when you felt him throb against your mouth. His hips jerked when you hesitantly wrapped your lips around him. 

It was slightly uncomfortable but it was not a bad feeling. Aegon tasted musky and salty, and a little bit sweaty. You took a moment to find the best way to stop your teeth from grazing against him and started to move along him, watching as he threw his head back, eyes shut tightly. 

The image of your husband stayed ingrained in your head. Would Aemond taste the same? Would he feel the same on your tongue? Would his cock react to you in such a way? Would you enjoy taking him in your mouth more than whatever this was?

Shamefully or not, you let yourself pretend that Aegon was not the man standing above you. That it was Aemond instead, enjoying what you were keen to give him and praising you for being so eager to taste him. 

You wished so hard that it was Aemond instead, that for a moment, when you gazed upwards it was him looking down at you with his hair falling perfectly and his eyepatch discarded. Alas, it was King Aegon, who revelled in staring at you with an amusement coupled with bliss that only felt belittling. 

It did set your body into a light rush of arousal but you couldn’t stop the doubts that flooded your mind. Were you dishonouring the sanctity of your body out of spite? Were you betraying the man you almost loved just to have a jab at him? Guilty tickles grew in your ribcage but you distracted yourself from it, focusing on the way that Aegon steered your movements. 

“Shit,” he hissed. Aegon’s hand found the back of your head and he adjusted your pace how he preferred. “Use your hand. What doesn’t fit–hold it.”

It became slightly easier once you found your rhythm, following each instruction that Aegon gave, drinking in the way his thigh trembled under your hand that rested against it, holding yourself stable as you hollowed your cheeks. Whatever you did, it almost came naturally and Aegon seemed to be enjoying it far more than you had expected. 

But it quickly became too much–Aegon started thrusting in a way that didn’t match your movements and you gagged, eyes burning at the ache of him hitting the top of your throat. You made a noise, pulling off and gasping for air, whining as he tugged your mouth back to him and chuckling. Lungs burning, you tried to meet whatever pace Aegon was moving at in an attempt to make things more comfortable. 

You reminded yourself of why you were here. The image of Aemond, head thrown back and groans slipping past his lips as he let that woman take him in his mouth. The image of Aemond, head buried between her legs, the skin on his chin glistening as he smirked at you while pleasure another woman. 

The feeling when your courtly acquaintances who you once thought of as friends would slyly belittle you for failing to give your husband an heir, belittling you because word of his infidelity had reached their gossiping mouths, belittling you because the Prince who they loathed you for having was hardly yours after all. The looks that they had given you, the way that they snickered and sneered at your failures as his wife. Whispers you had overheard from Lords alike; that for such a pretty thing, you must have been dreadfully dull in the ways of pleasure if Prince Aemond of all men had resorted to whores. 

That was how they all saw you; a failure. Because it was never a man’s fault but always his wife’s. 

You loathe to think that Aemond harboured the same thoughts. But you would show him how mistaken he was and make him feel what you had felt so that he would regret it all. 

“Fuck-” Aegon let out a drawn out groan as he pushed your head down, pushing himself as far down your throat as he could. You struggled to breath and you gagged twice but let him move you as he pleased, a satisfactory moan vibrating against his sensitive skin when he threw his head back and grumbled about spilling himself down your throat. 

It was a chaotic moment. 

The protest of the kingsguard through the wall and the bang of the door slamming open and you didn’t even need to turn and look. Aemond was seething, barely given the chance to put the pieces together before Aegon simultaneously groaned and laughed, the salty taste of his seed gliding past a sensitive part of your throat and pulling another gag from you as you yanked yourself away from Aegon. 

Everything seemed to pause for a moment. And despite the obnoxious laughter coming from the King as he tucked himself back into his breeches, the heavy breathing of your husband and your gasps for air, everything felt silent. 

Your blood ran hot at the way Aemond looked between you and Aegon. Nonetheless you met his eye, holding your chin up and wiping a bead of Aegon’s peak from your lip. 

It felt good. Watching as Aemond forced himself back into his stoic resolve; only bothering to subdue the way his eye filled with the same betrayal you still felt in your gut at the thought of the whore who had been on her knees for him in an almost identical way. 

Stoicism and slow, simmering, silent rage. 

The air around you turned hot enough to light a candle. Aemond’s presence alone had proven to be enough to send you spiralling from the heat he encased you in whenever he was in the same room but this? You were choking, sick to your stomach and doing your best to keep your knees from buckling at his intensity. 

Aemond heard Aegon ramble out some hideous insult, watched how you frowned at him and heard the echoes of his cackle. But the ringing in his ears overwhelmed it all and he had no clue what his brother had taunted him with before his fist met Aegon’s cheek with a loud crack.

He didn’t bother sparing his brother a second glance. Aemond was stood in front of you and despite his obvious anger, he pulled you up from where you were seated with a gentleness which had your mind reeling. 

There was a threat hidden in his voice. “Come with me. Now.”

Perhaps you had made a mistake. The gentle fury in Aemond was terrifying and even though you knew he would never raise a hand at you the way he thoughtlessly did at Aegon, there were so many ways that a Prince could ruin you. 

You felt a pit of regret now that it was over and the curtain of lust had lifted. It was easy to see how simple it is to get lost in the touch of another but it was easier to see how simple it is to avoid it. 

There was satisfaction. And you felt it simultaneously with the adrenaline of being caught and the doubts of your actions. Princes and Princesses and Kings and Queens were so unaware of their hypocrisy until it was spat back into their faces. 

Aemond would never in a million years have understood what he was doing to you if you had just been a submissive little wife and forgiven him. But now? Now he would know. And now things would be balanced and your desire to hurt him as he had done you has been fulfilled. And now you could see how this marriage would really stand against such tests.

And now, you may finally know whether Aemond truly did not care for you. Because if Aemond did not care for you–or even in part; love you–then he would not be hurt and he would not be feeling such betrayal.

Right now, as Aemond silently walked you towards his chambers, hands fisted, jaw clenched tightly and his gaze fixed ahead, you were fearful of how things would fare. As strong as you wished for your resolve to stay, Aemond’s disappointment was showing you a new weakness. And his words, you knew, if they were used as weapons then you would stand little chance against them. There was a heavy weight against your lower back where his hand sat, pushing you gently so that you glided through the halls faster. 

It wasn’t a long journey back to Aemond’s quarters. But it felt like hours to the Prince, the nausea in his gut silencing him the entire way. He felt like a child again, presented with a pig instead of a dragon, the shrill laughs of his cousins and his brother striking him with flashes of humiliation. 

Again and again and again, Aegon would do whatever he could to see Aemond crumble. Aegon would always take Aemond’s dignity, his honour, his crown. And now he just had to take his wife? 

Aemond shut the doors to his chambers roughly and you were quick to put some distance between the two of you. There was a hollow ball of guilt and fear that caught in your throat but you couldn’t deny the elation at the mixture of emotions in Aemond’s eye as he turned to face you. 

It was a reflection of how you had felt upon finding Aemond in bed with another. He would finally understand. 

Only Aemond was worlds away from the damned arousal you had felt and instead it was replaced with a youthful dread, a panic that you had never seen from him before now. 

There was hardly a moment for you to register the harshness of Aemond’s grip on your bicep as he pulled you toward the bowl that was kept by his bath, filled with clean water and accompanied by a tray of freshening oils. He lightly shoved you toward it as he let you go, unfazed by the sound of shock that you could not hold back. 

“Wash your mouth,” he spat. Although your back was to him, you could feel how he suppressed the extent of his rage as he was ever so good at doing. “And then we will talk.”

You bit your tongue and did as he said, wincing at the ice in his words and the angry strain of his voice. There was a lot that you wanted to say, to scream at him. He was angry–and to some extent he had every right to be–but how could Aemond have expected you to be okay with something that he clearly could not take on the chin?

But the way he had held you, the tone of his voice and the harshness in his glare had you wondering if revenge was worth whatever comes next. Because, amongst the whirlwind of fear and guilt and regret was gratification and fulfilment. 

The prickle of Aemond’s glare had disappeared before you were ready to dry your mouth with a towel. Quiet as ever, he had snuck away and by the time you had realised, the sound of the door shutting and the click of the lock had notified you of his absence. 

Aemond had locked you in. When you had swiftly tried to push the doors open, unaware of where you would go and truthfully not intending to leave in the first place, it didn’t budge. And when you called for the kingsguard who stood at the other side of the door, you went unanswered aside from a curt reply that he had been ordered not to let you leave. 

So you had resigned yourself to sitting atop Aemond’s bed rather than the seating arrangements scattered around the rest of the quarters. It smelled strongly of lavender, leather and Aemond’s very own scent–the one that always had you on the verge of drooling. But it only sent your nerves into overdrive, afraid that the consequences of your vengefulness, no matter how satisfying it was initially, may be too dire to recover from. 

The thought of whatever Aemond had planned for Aegon was not nice. You were correct in assuming that your tryst with Aegon would only cut your husband deeper because it was Aegon. The depth of whatever issues these brothers shared was far beyond you but you had only assumed that all second born princes would be affected in such a way. And Targaryen’s were full of complexities, each believing that they were better than everyone. Even their own siblings. 

Aegon had known that his younger brother would become nothing short of murderous. But he had never been a man to avoid even the slightest of temptations. Both the idea of indulging in you and inflaming the ever unresponsive Aemond were far more than slightly tempting. It would be worth the bloodied nose, the split lip and the sick that he’d spewed over his shoes when Aemond had returned to grace him with an inhumanly strong hit to his balls. Somehow, Aemond had made that act of violence seem like child’s play with the threats that he had rained down upon Aegon. 

King Aegon, who simply did not know when to keep his mouth shut and had all but asked for it with the way he taunted Aemond with a sentence he never had the chance to complete. “Seeing as you cannot satisfy even your own wife-”

He wasn’t there long. Aemond’s angry mind was racing and he couldn’t think past the red of his rage. But Aemond still knew better than to stay where he would surely commit a treason he would regret. 

Whatever fury Aemond had unleashed upon Aegon in the short time he was away had seemed to calm him down. He was still clearly angry when he stepped back into his quarters but there was a far less frightening storm brewing in his eye. 

At his return, you had stood from the bed. The air was sucked right out of the room when Aemond stood right in front of you, so close that you could count the creases in the leather of his eyepatch. There was a tense silence in which he stared at you, waiting for you to fold but you only held your head high and met his gaze stubbornly. 

Minutes had passed before Aemond spoke. His voice was far softer than you had expected and he seemed to have settled down a bit as he dragged his knuckles across your cheek, only to grip your chin so that you could not look away from him. Aemond held you tightly but not tight enough that it hurt.

“Enough of this,” It was an order, stern and unrelenting. “No more. This was a step too far-”

You scoffed in his face. “A step too far? Had you not done the same thing?”

Aemond had never in his life apologised for anything. He never felt sorry. And he never wished to admit to his mistakes. But here he was, face to face with the effects of one of the biggest mistakes he had made. If there were anything he could have done aside from apologise, he would have done it. But it was the only thing that would ease the mess of guilt that had arisen inside of him. For what he had done with the whore and for everything he hadn’t done for your marriage. 

“It was a mistake. If I could undo it, I would,” I’m sorry. “This was childish of you. Vengefulness is unbecoming.”

There was a beastly disgust that Aemond felt when he thought of another man even looking at you. The image of Aegon’s cock in your mouth, his seed leaking from your lips made him want to burn the entire realm to ashes. Aemond’s eye trailed along your jaw, to your neck and then down past your stomach. Did Aegon touch you where only he was to touch you?

Fuck treason. Aemond would feed Aegon to Vhagar if he had indulged in your body. 

“It is more than vengeance. You would not have understood what I felt. How I suffered because of you and your whore,” you tried your best to keep your voice stable. The lump in your throat and the tears that blurred your vision forced you to pull out of Aemond’s grip and turn your back to him. “You promised me you would never do that. You dishonoured me. You insulted me. You hurt me–Aemond, do you have any idea the things that they say about me?”

Aemond frowned and you could not see how he reached for you, only to drop his hand back to his side. “I–”

“That I am a failure. That I am-that I am so repulsive and so dull that you cannot even lay with me to produce an heir,” you couldn’t help the sob that escaped you. “And I saw what she was doing to you, what you were doing to her. I could never even have imagined the existence of such an act that had given you so much pleasure-”

“There was no true pleasure with her.” Aemond mumbled. Pathetically. 

Pathetic was exactly the word. Aemond may have been good with a sword, in a fight, with his dragon and when strategizing wars. But he was a pathetic husband–a pathetic partner, a pathetic lover. And he had the urge to take out his good eye for being so mindless and so ignorant. 

Hindsight was his worst enemy, it seemed. Because in hindsight, Aemond would have done everything differently, right from the moment you were introduced to him.

“Lie. It was clear, Aemond. They are all right, are they not?” You felt him step into you, his warm chest against your back. Leather and lavender and him. “I have failed. My womb is still empty. The last time you visited my bed was moons ago. I know you do not love me, my Prince, but I have love for you. Men are not the only ones who need intimacies of the body–I needed that and you have never given me anything. Yet you gave it to her. I wished to hurt you as you had hurt me.”

There were no words that Aemond could find. So he settled for shaking his head and watching you as you sat yourself down on the edge of his bed, staring down at your hands on your lap. You were so wrong in your perception of him but he couldn’t find the words to explain that. But Aemond decided in that moment that he would show you, one way or another. He hesitated before sitting beside you. 

You couldn’t meet his eye if you tried. It was as if your body was telling you to stop talking, that these thoughts were too painful to share, feelings too abstract and tender to put into words. 

“It is wretched, I know–to have turned to Aegon,” you felt him tense beside you and against your better judgement, you placed a hand on his thigh in an attempt to give him some comfort. “I wished to hurt you but I also wished to learn. I thought maybe if I knew how to-how to do things that would make you feel good so that maybe you would feel for me as I have for you. Aegon said he could show me. It is ridiculous, I understand that now.”

Aemond took your hand in his, the heat of your skin against his was fierce for such an insignificant action. He hated that it was easier for you to turn to Aegon than it was to turn to him. “I could have shown you. I can show you so much more. If only we had been honest with each other from the beginning.”

“I thought you do not want me.”

He sucked in a sharp breath. It would be less painful to drive his own dagger through his heart. “I crave for you, my love. I was just too stubborn to admit it and too afraid of what it means. And I did not know how to show you how badly I burn for you.”

The sight of tears had never fazed him until they were yours. Aemond was not particularly pious, he prayed simply because his mother had raised him to pray, but he would be on his knees every hour of every day if it meant that he could take these feelings away from you. If it meant that he could take it all back and start over. 

“I am sorry. No more of this,” you said. “No more seeking out the touch of anyone else in place of each other.”

“I will be a better husband,” Aemond stated, as if he were telling it to himself as much as he was to you. “I will try for our marriage and our duty. And for you.”

“Your promises haven’t proven to mean much to me. All is not forgiven just because we have talked,” You sighed, but gave him a weak smile, turning to look at him. 

He gazed down at you with determination, his jaw tight and his eye glistening with tears that wouldn’t fall. There was no attempt to push you away when you reached up to take off the leather that covered his bad eye. You wanted to see him as he was, even if only for a moment.

Gods, he was beautiful. 

As you stood you forced your smile to turn lighthearted as you teased him through your heavy hearts. “Jealousy motivates you well, my Prince. I shall remember that.”

Aemond hummed, mostly serious as his hands tightly grabbed your hips. “Do not jest like that. I will not be able to look at Aegon without dreaming of murdering him for defiling you how only I should. I cannot afford such treasonous fantasies.”

There was a silent threat in his words. Nonetheless, you leaned down to his ear, gasping gently at the harshness of his fingers squeezing the flesh of your hips. Just his hands on your body alone set you alight. 

“Perhaps my husband should leave the door to his bedchambers open tonight,” you let out a small laugh at the way that he pulled you to straddle his lap so suddenly, gently nipping the skin of his earlobe. You weren’t quite done messing with him. 

“Is that so?” He smiled and you thought that it made him all the more beautiful. 

“Yes,” you smirked, when he groaned frustratedly at your next words, softly throwing you onto the bed. “I may wish to show you exactly what I have learned.”

[ianyoa]

SOMETHING SUPER SWEET

jjk men x baker f!reader wc: 757 featuring: satoru gojo, suguru geto, nanami kento, choso kamo, yuji itadori, megumi fushiguro, yuta okkotsu.

summary ; jjk men headcannons with a baker girlfriend !

Satoru Gojo LOVES the fact that you can bake. Coming back to a sweet treat is like a dream come true. If you’re having insecurities about trying something new out, he’s the first to reassure you that it’s already perfect on the first go. He loves watching you bake when there’s downtime. Whenever you’re distracted he likes to dip his finger into the batter and have an early taste… which leads into a spoonful, then another, and another. Next thing you know, you’re giving Satoru a slice of cake while he’s in bed with a stomach ache because he insists he’s TOTALLY fine and doesn’t want it to go to waste. 

Suguru Geto claims to be indifferent. He comes over and sees a brownie, he’ll only eat it because “you made them.” Truth is, he loves them so, so much. After a full day of having to take in awful curses, there’s nothing better than having something delicate that his sweet girlfriend made. Maybe one day he’ll vocally express his love for them, but you already tell how much he enjoys them by the look in his eyes when he comes back to the smell. 

Nanami Kento, being the man he is, helps you. He loves coming back to see you midway through baking. Doesn’t matter if he’s tired, he’ll wash his hands and jump right in with you. He loves it when you make bread together. It’s perfect for him to pack it up for his lunch the next day. He doesn’t lean towards sweets, maybe having a bite or two and leaving the rest for you. But the second you make croissants, muffins, biscuits, you name it.. he’s thinking about the perfect time to propose. 

Choso Kamo is amazed. Seriously, like.. how is this possible? He gets a little nervous whenever you tell him to join you, he just doesn’t want to screw up since you always do it perfectly. Choso ends up enjoying it a lot! He gets happy whenever it starts forming together. One thing he loves doing, decorating the cookies after. You give him a couple of piping bags with different icings and a tray of sprinkles and he’s sitting there for who knows how long trying to make it look perfect for you. He loves watching you bake, not just staring at the dough as you make it from nothing to something, but the look on your face once it’s complete and you’re satisfied.

Yuji Itadori takes pride in having a girlfriend who can bake. Every time you make something, you’ll always have to make extras so he can take it for his friends. Gives them to others with the biggest smile on his face saying that you were the one who made them. He’s quite literally your number-one fan. Encourages you to open some sort of shop, even if you claim it’s just a hobby, so he can pass on the delight of these sweets to others. Everyone has to know what a real dessert tastes like! But you always have to make sure that there’s plenty left for him.

Megumi Fushiguro doesn’t mind it. He doesn’t go out of his way to ask for anything but if you offer, sure he’ll take some. As long as it’s not anything insanely sweet, he quite enjoys it. Loves it when you make something with dark chocolate though. He drinks black coffee of course he wouldn’t mind some dark chocolate cookies or something simple like a fruit coated in dark chocolate. Whenever you do manage to get him to eat something a little more on the sweeter side, he never complains. It’s something that you made. He claims to never say anything against it because that would be rude but really, it’s the only sweet thing he’ll ever fully enjoy without complaining. 

Yuta Okkotsu enjoys making sweets for you! It started when one day you gave him a cupcake as a treat for the stress that he’s endured, then the next day he gives you a 2 tiered cake. This man will always give you something in return. Sure he might’ve never considered the idea of baking but once you two started dating and he saw how much you enjoyed it, he started practicing so one day you two can do it together. It slowly became normal for you two to make each other something every once in a while. Sure his baking might be really good, but he claims that he’ll never reach your level. There’s something about your sweets that makes his day instantly better.

⁺ ﹒ ˚ ₊ ‧꒰ა ﹒ ✦﹒ ໒꒱ ‧ ₊ ˚ ﹒ ⁺

notes ; i wrote this because i was watching a baking show LMAOO

[crazyfor-toby]

Hi! First time requester here I was wondering do you have any headcannons on reader and highschool Toby losing their virginity to each other I totally understand if you’re not comfortable with that.

Summary :: reader and Toby losing their virginity to eachother

Notes :: Hi!😁 This is the first nsfw request I've got so I'm sorry if it's written poorly😭 I've been wondering when I'd finally get one but I'm totally comfortable with it I js can't take myself seriously while writing it but I still hope you enjoy!

Warnings :: nsfw, cursing

Readers gender :: gender neutral, afab

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Toby literally has no experience whatsoever because before you no one ever even really talked to him other than bullies.

He is super nervous about the whole thing but the horny teenager in him has been secretly wanting to do this with you ever since you both got together.

He may have no experience at all but he knows the basics at least and even though he isn't the most romantic person he wants this to be the best experience for the both of you.

He's insecure about his body and overall general appearance so he'd probably want to have his first few times in the dark.

Ik for sure this mans a switch, but his preference is your preference so if you want to top then he's more than happy to

holds your hand the whole time, gently caressing the back of your hand with his thumb as he leaves a hot trail of kisses down your neck to your collarbone

PRAISES you so much as he waits for you to adjust around his cock as he peppers your shoulder with light kisses

Definitely doesn't take his hateful attitude to bed, especially not when it's the both of yours first time

He'll go down on you, asking if he's doing good while he holds your hips and eats you out like it's his last fucking meal

He doesn't want to hurt you at all he'll be asking over and over if he's doing good and making sure you feel as good as he does!

Though, due to his CIPA he doesn't really know how much it hurts to lose your virginity so you're going to have to tell him though he still doesn't realize😭

He's good wit it just very rough soo... it's definitely not the best first experience... but pls he's trying his best

[chosolala]

⊹ ‧₊˚ ౨ৎ Megumi headcannons

like the title says, here are some of my silly stupid megumi fushiguro headcannons ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

he really likes to read, so sometimes he’ll buy 2 copies of a new book so he can give the second to you and you guys can read together

sometimes your hangout sessions are just you two sitting in the common room reading your books together while listening to music.

when he’s crushing on you, sometimes he’ll let nobara and yuji motivate him to do stupid things to “get you to fall for him” and he gets super flustered and red.

one time you all were in the library doing research and megumi came up to you like “it’s a good thing i have my library card because i am totally checking you out”. you couldn’t help but giggle at this.

gojo heavily influenced the way he styles his hair

he takes his divine dogs out for walks, brings them to dog parks at night and plays fetch with them.

he loves going on walks while listening to music and zoning out, sometimes he just sits somewhere and watches the world around him, not thinking about all the craziness that comes with being a jujutsu sorcerer.

he loves photography, his camera roll is secretly filled with pictures of yuji and nobara smiling and laughing together, pretty pictures of the sky, him and gojo, and pictures of his divine dogs.

he’s actually super sentimental and he hates that about himself. he can’t bring himself to throw away any stupid note one of his classmates slid him or the acorn that one of his dogs brought to him randomly or any of his polaroids.

he likes watching news or true crime stories with a snack late at night. sometimes his classmates will ask to join him but they get bored easily so he’s usually on his own.

summons his shikigami randomly just for you to play with, especially his dogs whenever you’re visibly upset or had a bad day, he loves seeing how they light up your face.

he loves when people touch his hair or play with it. he would never admit it so it doesn’t happen often but when someone ruffs his hair up he doesn’t push them away

unironically listens to weezer.

he’s a hot head but he never lets his emotions get THAT out of hand

tells you the craziest things ever so nonchalantly, like he’ll tell you a story about how he hardly escaped with his life on one of his missions without a hint of any emotion and then is shocked when you show emotion over it

he loves coffee, he knows all the best coffee spots in tokyo, but he gatekeeps them. one time he brought you to this coffee shop/ bakery he really liked though and he is thinking about showing you another one of his spots

he has a crazy memory, like you mentioned liking a specific fast food place and he surprised you with your favorite food from said restaurant and a movie because you had a bad day.

he practically lives in track pants and sweat pants outside of his school uniform, most of his clothes are dark colors.

he actually has really big sweet tooth but tries to avoid too many sugary foods since it’s bad for him

he actually shops with nobara quiet often, he usually doesn’t buy much though.

he’s the type of guy to be like “¥25,000?? I can get this online for half that” even though he could easily afford the 25000.

-------------------౨ৎ---------------------

[starsungwithamelody]

sunday nsfw headcannons pt. 1

-

it’s not very very nsfw it’s just subtle.. pt2 will be more nsfw

-imagine if his wings flutter to cover his face when he’s embarrassed

you walk into sunday’s study, it’s quiet.. yet the only noises that can be heard is soft writing and papers gliding across each other.

he looks up, softly smiling at you. it’s been a while since you seen him this soft. he focuses back onto his paper, picking up his pen to continue whatever he was writing. he looks ever so graceful, his hair in a neat yet messy way, his organized desk, how did you even get the chance to meet such a perfect guy like him?

you can’t help but get the urge to just compliment him! he’s just too fine right now! ugh! it’s like having a middle school crush you’re twiddling your thumbs over, making sure you’re always looking pretty for!

“you’re quite cute when you’re focused..”

you immediately regret your decision when he looks up at you confused, did i look weird? did i come off too strong!?

“thank you..”

you quickly look up, his wings covering his face while he looks away from you. he’s flustered and you know it! you pause realizing you’re really heating up now! your face is hot and red!

you don’t really know what to even do now! the awkward silence between you and him is just killing you! so you just think of something quick! walking over to his desk and hugging him? was that even a good idea?

you walk over to his desk, standing behind him, putting your arms over his shoulders. he smells so good! wait. is that weird to say?

“h-huh..?”

he keeps his face covered, gently grabbing your hands, pulling you even closer. you’re so close… your head is on the crook of his neck now!

“this.. this is nice..”

you mutter, it took you way too much courage to even say that, but how could you not? he smells good, looks great, looks adorable, and lastly! he’s your significant other!

you finally look down, eyes widening when you realize he’s hard

just from one compliment.

-imagine if his halo flickers when’s he cums + his wings being super duper sensitive!

you’re even more flustered now! but you know what! you’re gorgeous strong independent! you’re sure you can handle this situation right! right?

“you’re quite hard now sunday..”

your hands start to roam around his chest, slowly taking off his jacket. his wings still covering his face.

“c’mon… don’t be shy..”

your hand grazes his wings, you softly attempt to move his wings out of his face. they twitch and flutter every time you try to brush his wings away. his halo starts to flicker instantly that’s not usual? the bright gleaming halo is now flickering and twitching so much!

“oh wow.. your wings are a lot more sensitive sunday”

you hear sunday clear his voice, he’s gripping the armrests on his chair. his hands fidgeting around, he keeps groaning.

“a-ahem.. it’s nothing..”

his voice is so whiny now? you swear he never sounded like this before! you know what! you’re getting to the bottom of this.

you quickly swivel his chair around, wrapping your hand around his chin forcing him to look at you. you take one good look at him, his crotch mostly. there’s a large dark spot staining his crotch.

oh my aeons.. he just came from you touching his wings.

maybe that’s how you ended up overstimulating him till he cries but that’s for another day…

[venuswarmlight]

mizu headcannons. (not safe for work)

Mizu holding her cute s/o by the legs against the wall while fucking them raw.

Mizu kissing her s/o like there's no tomorrow after a rough day at work.

Mizu being super touchy and needy when she gets jealousy.

Modern!Mizu touching your inner thighs and teasing you while you're studying for an exam.

Mizu is the type of girl that would punish you for being a bratty, leaving you wet and high, about to cum, unless you beg for more.

Mizu is the type of gf that loves seeing you cry when you get closer.

Mizu would like white and red lingerie just for her to destroy it.

Mizu is a pussydrunk.

Mizu likes to fuck you with her fingers when you're in a dark alley.

Mizu is the type of girl that loves seeing you desperate because no one desired to fuck her so badly in her life.

Mizu would mark you just to keep other men away from u.

Mizu likes angry sex in secret, it's like sparring with her s/o but more.. Seductive.

Mizu also likes midnight sex, there's no explanation.

Mizu is definitely a boobs girl. She is obsessed with the C cup on her partner.

Bonus ¡! (Not dirty, just cute)

Mizu is not the best at talking when it comes to an argument. She'll try to tell you she needs time to think, maybe two or three days.

Even if it doesn't look like it, she worries about you, and when she kills, she thinks of you.

She's bad at being emphatic with everyone. But for you, she'll try to be the sweetest girl in the world.

Mizu values more the efficacy of words than a big poem with lots of affirmations and weird words. (It means she prefers an I Love You than a Bible of words describing your love for her. But if you're a poet -js like me- she wouldn't have a problem with that, she just won't react like it's a big think -she would be so grateful about it and save it in her pockets-)

Mizu is not a gossip girl, sorry for the ladies that would like to gossip with her, she just don't find it funny to talk about other people.

For a s/o, she prefers someone that's just as strong as her or better, so she can be relaxed about the idea of letting you alone while she fights with other ppl because she knows you're good at defending yourself. She does not care about the height or the appearance, the only thing she cares about is how they can solve the problems.

For a s/o, she prefers someone that can balance her. Someone that's warm and kind, doesn't talk too much (bc she loves talking with eye contact with her s/o), I think she's into someone that fights with their own hands or with a bow, so they can protect her from the sky or from the buildings while she's in the ground punching someone's head.

Mizu would fall in love so hard with someone that's the graphic description of a yellow cat. When she realizes you're not letting her go and that you would kill for her in a mad way, she falls. Hard. Imagine Mizu in the floor trying to get up bc someone's about to take her life, until you come and kill them but in a very... Rough way, the blood spurting and coming out of everywhere, your hands in red, while she recovers, she looks at you with heart eyes and the jaw in the ground. Then you come back and ask her “Are u okay?” and she's just surprised because no one never killed for her safety. “I was, you didn't have to save me”

She's obsessive when she falls in love, she would know every detail of you, not like ur favorite color or your favorite food, more like what makes you cry, what makes you laugh, what makes you angry, your allergies, your no's, what turns you off, y'know.

[brittle-doughie]

Ask attempt number either 3 or 4 at this point. Damn Tumblr is Ravenous So you know how Red Velvet Cookie is in charge of baking cake monsters? What if Y/N Cookie was also in charge of army production, but they had an itch to make experimental cake monsters? What if they use pound cake, cut wider slices, and stack the cakes higher to make tankier, bigger, wall-like-cake-hounds? What if they used devil's food cake(Which I headcannon to have some sort of infernal property) and incorporated caramel lava into this next batch of monsters? What if Y/N cookie incorporates poison mushroom cookie's spores into another batch? Hell, what if Y/N Cookie requested a snow lion be brought back alive after a mission in the Dark Cacao Kingdom to see if they could replicate it as a cake monster? And after some experimental monsters have been baked, Y/N Cookie would insist that Pomegranate or Licorice Cookie must bring some of their experimental cake monsters because they yearn for field testing their new monsters.

(Yes this is basically Cookie Abathur)

The Manufacturer of Darkness

It gives me vibes of the Kronos Unveiled scene from the Incredibles. For every failed test, a more improved one will prevail next time.

Dark Enchantress Cookie needed someone onboard that can vastly improve her cake monster army. Red Velvet Cookie can make them, but they’ll eventually succumb to Gingerbrave and his friends during a fight. She wanted them stronger and tougher, to where no cookie would be able to halt their advance.

And that’s where you were hired on.

The first couple of batches were not expected to be successful, rather, it was for combat data. You needed data to go off of if you were to take your experiments to newer heights. They’ll be sent out in grand numbers to gather all that you needed for the next batch.

You were allowed to snag as many cake monsters from Red Velvet Cookie’s batches for experiments as you want, it was all under Dark Enchantress Cookie’s orders, much to Red Velvet’s reluctance.

It wouldn’t be until your experimental monsters were able to occupy a village that you considered your recipes a success and went to further improve and improve upon them. Using such things as caramel lava or mushroom spores to make variants of cake monsters the cookies of Earthbread have never seen before!

Why, you might even use cookie dough in your plans to make your own army of super soldiers that can lead your creations into battle. The blueprints have already been made…

A lava demoness that can summon and control the lava from deep within the earth….

A poisonous grenadier that flush out fortfied positions with spores…

Dark Enchantess Cookie will be pleased with your progress and give you all the time in the world, for it is only a matter of time before you created an army that was tireless, numberless, merciless….

Nowhere would be safe!

[icycoldninja]

Fluffcember #7 (Sephiroth x reader)

Fluff headcannons

-Is essentially a sleepy old cat; loves to laze around on your lap whenever he has time. He doesn't get many days off, but when he does, hoo boy. Clear out your schedule and cancel all plans for the day--thou shalt be his living pillow.

-He drapes himself across your lap, often burying his face in your stomach or curls up in your lap like a cat and uses your chest as a headrest.

-Will actually purr if you scratch his head, especially if you get that spot right above his neck. He loves it. He also loves getting forehead kisses as he drifts off to sleep because they make him feel so relaxed.

-Besides cat-like behavior, Sephiroth enjoys spending time with you as a human. He'll put on a movie or TV show and lounge around on the couch with you curled up under his arm.

-Can't cook, but wants to enjoy dinner with you, unlike most of the time when he has to rush through his meals and race off to work. Either he'll assist you in the kitchen (and contribute as much as a 3 year old who really wants to help) or order takeout. Nevertheless, you two end up spending a quiet evening in.

-Another thing he likes to do is squash you with his giant frame and hold you tight; like a kid squeezing their stuffed animal. He loves to hold onto you, breathing in your scent, basking in your warmth, and generally enjoying your presence.

-Despite his tough exterior, Sephiroth is really a playful guy at heart--though he'll only ever reveal this side of him when he's around you, the person he trusts more than anyone else. (Except his mom)

-He'll play games with you, and not just video games. This grown-ass super soldier will 100% play dress up and/or tea party, as well as chase you around the house only to tackle you onto the couch and pin you there while smothering you in kisses.

-Occasionally you'll wake up and find yourself trapped under a strange, thin material that's too dark to be your sheets. Further investigation shows that Sephiroth has slid his nightshirt over your head at some point and has kept you like that for some time.

-On really rare occasions when he's feeling extra cheerful, he'll wake you up by gently slapping you with his wing before picking up a few fallen feathers and using them to tickle your feet. Adorable. ❤️

[evieelyzabethh]

Hey can u do a spike smut

I have another Spike smut fic coming so I'm gonna use this to drop my sfw and nsfw Spike headcannons because fun fact, the buffy brain rot is real and I have over 100 pages of buffy reboot material. anyways...

warning: not proofread

sfw:

Spike purely smokes because he thinks it makes him look cool. I think when it comes to vampires, they either physically cannot feel the effects of drugs or are lightweights. He hates the smell of smoke, hence the duster jacket, and refuses to smoke in his crypt because of the shit ventilation

Speaking of smoking, William was most definitely asthmatic. He had no friends in boys school because too much physical movement sent him wheezing. He did enjoy horseback riding though

He has poetry stashed somewhere, I just know it. Under some slab of rock or rolled in some random alcohol bottle pirate style, it's somewhere.

Spike would love an English major or anyone who has a hobby aligned with creative writing. This doesn't mean he'd automatically show you anything he's written but he'd be more open to the possibility sooner rather than later.

Very picky with what he steals/wears. He will not just put any old rags on. He dressed Drusilla and he is a fashion icon and I stand by that

As for him with a partner, I do think he is the type to fall first and incredibly hard

I think how familiar you are with one another would dictate a lot. If you were a Scooby, I wouldn't say he'd keep his distance, but he wouldn't be super outright with his affection. There'd be some playful banter here and there, dare I say some flirting, and maybe even some gift-giving every now and again. He's like a crow, he'd be the type to drop things on your windowsill just because it reminded him of you

If you two didn't know each other, he'd most definitely be the stalking type. Every time you're walking home from school, there WILL be a dark figure following you around. You're getting harassed by some rando? If you paid attention to the newspaper, you'd see they mysteriously went missing. You can go from eyeing something while window shopping to it magically ending up on your doorstep

Never the one to make the first move. He wouldn't say a word unless he was 100% confident that you liked him back, and even then, there'd be a lot of hesitation

He would love a forward partner. Someone who makes his insecurities melt away and who he doesn't have to worry about them ever getting over him. When he loves, he loves forever. He has all of time to love you and his ideal partner would be someone who wants to spend all of time with him

He is such a romantic!!! I think he would be so into matching couples costumes or just matching outfits in general. Super into domesticity wherever he can get it, decorating a home together, cleaning together, cooking together, doing anything together

Since he can't have a job, I do see him being a house husband. It gives him something to do during the day. Wears a 'kiss the cook' apron and pouts if you don't give him kisses while wearing it. I headcannon that he spent time all over Europe, including France, and had some really good pastries at some cafe that closed like 200 years ago and made it his life's mission to recreate them. The grocery bill is high but it makes him happy

Valentine's Day is his absolute favorite holiday and he makes a big deal of outdoing himself every year. Not in terms of money or extravagance, but meaning. He treats every day as a new one to know more about you. It's not enough to know your favorite color, he needs to know the exact shade, exact hue, and exact context you love it in. He knows your allergies, remembers your favorite outfits, and keeps track of your cleaning habits so he can make everything shiny and new when you forget yourself. He becomes a master of all trades to make you whatever you want exactly how you want it

He does really like Halloween, too. He's a huge fan of the Scream movies. He dislikes when horror movies try too hard. Being so used to gore, blood, and guts, he prefers a funnier, more unserious scary movie

Speaking of blood, he starts out against drinking from you. He used to only do it to kill someone, or at least with the intent to cause harm. He didn't trust himself not to get overwhelmed and hurt you. But I feel like at some point he either gets hurt on patrol or his stash gets low and you both forgot to restock and he has to. It was a very close call, and he couldn't bring himself to even look at you after the fact. He only warms up to it if it's necessary. He avoids it, but there are always slip-ups. He has bitten you during sex a few times when he got a bit too into it. He says he refuses to do it unless it's for your pleasure

He is so obsessed with you, if you couldn't tell. You're his favorite person, favorite scent, favorite taste. Not to be slightly yandere on main, but he would kill for you and kill himself if he wasn't enough for you. Never leave you. Never hurt you. Spike would never.

nsfw:

He is neither an ass or tits guy, he's just a 'you' guy. Absolutely everything about you gets him going. You think it's funny at first until you're trying to eat a bowl of spaghetti and he's staring at you, hard. It's not his fault the stray sauce around your lips looked like blood and vampire you is a very hot concept to him

You guys have to own a house. The noise complaints would be too much and you'd get evicted. I do see him as more of a groaner than a moaner, but sometimes it's just too much and it's both. Sometimes it's just one hand gripping the pillow your head is resting on, the other on the headboard, and his head in the crook of your neck practically whimpering as you milk his cock

You also have a tendency to get pretty loud, and as much as he loves your voice, his super vampire hearing can't take it sometimes :(

Doesn't really matter the position, but it's hard and he's so big. You can feel him in your damn ribs and it's choking you up. You don't even realize how loud you are. It's not until you hear his raspy voice in your ear. "I know, love, I know. It's a lot, but I need you to be a bit quieter. You're hurting me." And you pout a bit and try to mumble apologies that just sound like gibberish. You try, futilely, but surely he must understand that you can't help it. Not when it's this good. He whispers again, rubs where your belly bulges from his dick, but it doesn't seem to work. He eventually flips you over to shove your head in the pillows and you were far too out of it to complain. You like it a bit rough anyway.

As mentioned previously, he is a biter. He can't help it, it's instinct honestly. Its not like you mind, you clench even harder when he does. The sudden smell of iron is drowned out by the stench of sex and sweat, and the piercing feel of his fangs into your neck only stings for a bit. He makes up for it by licking up whatever spills <3 Being with a vampire was always going to be at least a little painful

He likes his hair pulled. You're fingers in his hair in general is heaven on earth, but being pulled around a bit is nice

Has a thing for tearing your clothes off. He really does like being a vampire, feeling big and strong in a way he was never able to when he was human. There is a feral piece of him, maybe its the demon inside him or it was always present, but seeing your clothes in pieces after the fact just scratches the itch in his brain

Speaking of brain, enjoys giving and receiving head equally. Being absolutely obsessed with you, and very secretly obsessed with the taste of your blood, he could die happily with your cum on his lips. Between your legs is his favorite place for real. As for receiving, it's his favorite way of shutting you up in any scenario.

Bruises. Everywhere. Hickeys. Everywhere. He's possessive but not exactly an exhibitionist, they end up along your collarbones and your thighs. Places where they can easily be hidden or revealed

Plays old music because he's old. He refuses to use modern technology because he likes his old as dirt aesthetic but definitely plays sexy orchestral music. I simply do not believe him to be an RnB kinda guy

He likes seeing you in his clothes after!! Going back to the whole love for domesticity thing, it just feels right. He's, shockingly, not always a horny fuck in the morning. Sometimes it feels more right to just look at you, the pretty after sex glow on your face, your messy hair, your cheeks pressed into the pillow. If you get up before him and put on what he had on the night before, it just completes the picture.

When he is a horny fuck in the morning, it's still just as soft and slow as the non-sexual mornings. He likes to be the big spoon simply because it's easier to slide his dick between your thighs and hold your tits at the same time

[oliver-quick-ens-my-pulse]

I've been scrolling through your page and I'm obsessed! I love your headcannon posts. <3 Do you think you have any 18+ headcannons for Sebastian/Ominis/Garreth getting aroused at seeing MC walk down the stairs all dolled up for The Yule Ball? And their inappropriate thoughts about MC throughout the ball? Obviously Ominis would have to rely on touch or smell.

Headcannons for getting aroused when they see your Yule Ball outfit

Ominis Gaunt x f!reader; Sebastian Sallow x f!reader; Garreth Weasley x f!reader Ominis Gaunt x m!reader; Sebastian Sallow x m!reader; Garreth Weasley x m!reader

Warnings - 18+ suggestive thoughts and descriptions

A/N - Yay! I love to hear that anon. I hope you enjoy this one :)

Ominis x f!reader

as soon as he heard whispers and gasps from everyone else, he knew you were the one coming down the stairs

he turns towards you with a smug smile on his face since he knew you'd be by his side all night

when he walks up to you to take your arm and his fingers brush up against the soft satin or sultry lace that fell over your waste it takes a lot for him to keep his mouth closed

he loves those textures on you, he strongly associates them with times when you're panting and begging him to please yo

he would whisper to you about being naughty by choosing such a dress and struggling not to adjust his cock in his pants

when you whispered back telling him to wait until he found out what was beneath it his mind just went crazy and he hoped it was dark enough that nobody would notice how aroused he was

the whole night he would be fantasizing about what would greet him if he slipped his fingers beneath your gown

he thought about whether you would have on any stockings, strained by the belt that held them up at your waist

he thought about if he would be greeted with sticky thighs and your bare cunt or some more lace that hardly covered your private bits

he would spend the night staying close to you, although he's normally not one for pda, he wouldn't be able to keep his hands off of you

it would be subtle and nothing daring, but a constant hand around your waist or shoulders bumping into one another

as you slow danced he would be in close proximity to you and telling you the filth that was in his mind

his erection pressed gently up against your hips as a reminder of what exactly it was you had to look forward to later

Sebastian x f!reader

he would have planned to go all out with a reaction to embarrass you like catcalling you and whistling when you showed up

but instead he's just speechless with his mouth hanging open

his eyes are glued to how your outfit fits you so perfectly

when you make your way down the stairs you walk up to him and place a finger on his chin to close his mouth for him

he seems to snap out of it and he winds his hands over your waist, giving you a sly smile

"this dress is going to look amazing on the floor tonight"

he definitely had a hard-on, but he tried his best to ignore it

you spend the night going back and force in attempts to tease each other

he tries to impress you when you dance together and when he removes his jacket and pushes his sleeves up his arms to try and relieve the heat he's feeling, you really start feeling your own

Sebastian is mentally undressing you all night and tries to take guesses at what you're wearing underneath your dress

he feels like he's on fire anytime you touch him

he's really married to the idea of bunching your skirts up and fucking you with your dress still on

Garreth x f!reader

super flustered when he sees you

he's quick to scoop you up and takes a moment to twirl you around just to look at you

the look of lust in his eyes isn't one that's easy to miss

he lets you lead the night, if you want to dance that's where he'll be

if you want a drink, he's off to get it

he's shockingly quiet during the socializing because he just keeps eyeing a different part of you

every time you shift he's looking for a new sliver of exposed skin or a strain in the fabric that shows him the outline of your body underneath

he's definitely trying and failing to hide the tent in his pants all night

but you insist he loosens up and relaxes, promising you'll take care of him later

which just makes his thoughts stray even more

he imagines the indents of the bodice in your soft skin and kissing ever one

he's thinking about undressing you as slow as possible to appreciate how much effort you put in to the ensemble

Ominis x m!reader

he would hear Sebastian comment sadly about he liked your dress robes much more than his own

Ominis would smile as you descended the steps and took his hand

you would let him know you selected colors just to correspond with his, per Sebastian's sleuthing, and Ominis would heat up on the spot

he would comment about wishing he could appreciate it better

in response you would turn to face him and guide his hands up to your shoulders, dragging them down your silky coat lapels and over the ruffles of your shirt

stopping his hands at your hips to avoid being indecent, but you would notice how his lips part

"Merlin, you're going to be the death of me"

he loved peeling silky and soft clothing from you, it felt much more intimate than something rough like cotton

because he knew it had been carefully selected for him

he would stick close to you and frequently behind you, with hands wrapped around your waist so you could feel his arousal firmly against your backside

when you would be having a conversation with others he would lean to your ear and whisper things to make you go feral

about how badly he wanted to trace his fingers over your stomach and down to your cock

how he wondered if you sat down with your robes just right, he would be able to palm you through your trousers without anyone noticing

Sebastian x m!reader

he would be waiting for you, looking cocky with his arms crossed

he would be doing his best to contain how much he wanted to chase you back up the stairs to take your clothes back off

he would walk up to you and give you a lingering kiss that was practically begging you to run off somewhere else with him

he wouldn't be able to keep his hands off of you

when you danced his hands would be at your hips or shoulders

when you had a seat he would be tracing dangerous circles on your thigh

his own legs would be spread open in a teasing invitation where you could see that he was aroused

he would be thinking about how good you feel pressed up against him

he loves to fight with you to try and be the more dominant one during lewd things but he loves it when you eventually just put him in his place

he's just spending the night thinking about how good your going to feel inside him

Garreth x m!reader

completely speechless when you come down the stairs

when you're at the bottom he scrambles forward to retrieve you so you weren't just standing there

he's a mess as he takes in your dress attire and loves seeing you in something more fitted

you can't hold back from teasing him, asking if he likes what he sees

in response he angles himself towards you in a way where he shamelessly grounds his erection against you

he ends up being more quiet than usual, but he's very giggly

he's basically giving you bedroom eyes every time you look at him

he's taking in your form and thinking about all the sweet spots that lie underneath

he's thinking about all the places he knows you love being kissed and suckled on

even though it wouldn't put out his own fire at all he's thinking about how amazing you would look in your outfit, standing above him and forcing his head onto your cock

[oleander-nin]

For the sentient bot au (rottmnt)

How would they react if their darling was able to crochet? Like every time they we’re watching the show, they’d be a little distracted with making a plushie or a piece of clothing. Would they be jealous that they aren’t paying attention, or if they bring them to their universe would they ask them to make something for them?

A/N, not important: This was super cool to write because I do a *lot* of needle work lol. I knit, crochet, sew, embroider, etc. I did headcannons for this, mostly because I didn't know how to write this as a proper fic and it's easier to get back into the groove. Apologies for my absence(and the fact this was requested back in September of 2023). Any criticism is welcome, constructive or not. This is supposed to be a gender neutral reader, so if I screwed up somewhere, please tell me. - Ollie

CW: Stalking, being watched without your knowledge, sentient show characters, obsession, yandere themes, dark themes

Words: 849

Summary: You crochet, oblivious to the constant eyes on you.

Mikey:

He thinks what you do is absolutely charming. Whenever the screen flickers and they can gaze back, he loves to watch you work. He admires the deftness of your craft, even going so far as to see if he could pick it up too. He sees it as a great way to bond. Whether he succeeds or not in picking up the needle work as well doesn’t matter much to him. He’s just delighted you’re a fellow artist in your own right.

He loves to design patterns for blankets or create his own unique stuffies for you to bring to life. He wants to bring his own touch into your work, to try and intertwine the both of you as much as possible. What better way than to combine your hobbies?

Obsesses over what you make to see if he can figure out what you like. He’ll take note of the colors you use, of whether you kept what you’ve been working on or gave it to a friend, or even sold it. He’ll see if you make more stuffies or sweaters, whether you prefer blankets or hats. He’s internalized every choice you’ve made, from the yarn fiber you prefer to where you most often work on your hobby.

Donnie:

Watches you in interest. He finds your hobby interesting and calming. He loves seeing your fingers curl around the yarn and how your hook moves so smoothly. It’s almost soothing to him, so much so he’ll do anything to keep watch. Home security system? Donnie can find a way to weasel his access from just your streaming devices to every electronic in your vicinity. He wants to keep an eye on you, and see what else you create.

Keeps a lot of knitted and crochet works for you to try and match what you have in your home. He’ll collect sweaters, blankets, stuffies, pillows, and anything in between that happens to be made via needle craft. He wants to make the lair seem more at home to you, and what better way then to find every sensory pleasing work he can?

Glad you have a hobby so you’re distracted while they work on bringing you ‘home’. Having you so focused on your work, while at times hurtful, makes their plans to cross the interdimensional barrier a lot easier. The less you pay attention to them, the more they can plan. Of course, once you’re actually in his arms that’ll change. He’s not fond of being ignored.

Raph:

He’s ecstatic about it. He thinks it’s incredibly cute and uses it to solidify his image of you being some soft, fragile soul. He’ll internally coo and croon over you whenever they’re able to look back at you, eyeing your newest project with interest.

Raph has a lot of respect for your craft, especially since he’s tried to knit before. He hopes you’ll be able to teach him and let him work with you. He can hardly wait to snuggle next to you while you explain the steps to him.

He can’t help but hope for you to make him something when you’re finally able to come ‘home’. He wants to add your personal handiwork to his collection of stuffed animals. He’ll put it on his top shelf where no one can mess with it, only taking it down to cuddle on special occasions. It’ll be his pride and joy, something for him to treasure immensely.

Wanting to make it easier on you, he’ll start looking for patterns to give to you, some for when you’re finally with them and some for Donnie to nudge in your direction online. He’ll find yarn and hooks, creating a giant collection just for you. He wants to show you his love, show you that he can give you everything you need and more.

Leo:

Thinks it’s sweet. He can’t help but view it in a cutesy way, no matter what you make. He sees it as part of your charm, knowing you at least have a hobby to keep you busy when he’s away. He just can’t help but wish you wouldn’t do it when you’re supposed to be watching him.

Leo wants you to pay more attention to him. As much as he adores your hobby, he despises how you only seem to do it when you’re watching them. You never give him your full attention, never have your eyes on the screen for the entire time he is. It makes him seethe inside. He’ll make sure to fix that habit once he has you in his arms though.

He always feels a bit bitter when you give something away in front of them, knowing he’d never be able to hold that piece himself. He wants nothing more than to hoard what you make. He can’t help but assume whoever you gifted something to is taking advantage of you. You shouldn’t give away your handiwork, especially when you could save it for him! He plans on finding everything you’ve made when they’re finally able to break the barrier between worlds to take you.

Tag list: @f1oricide @itsyagurlchip @lordfreg @acutiewithagun @rottmnttmnt2012 @lixnininotnay @lexiechr @ssak-i @rottmntsimp

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

Okay say hypothetically

OG!Michael Myers, Chop-top, Nubbins, Bubba, Stu, and Billy headcannon ideas!! Feel free to pick and choose any of these, do not feel obligated whatsoever to write them all!!

-S/O sends them out to buy pads

-Theater!S/O who’s nervous for auditions

-Nicknames they call their S/O (and vice versa)

-Their most embarrassing memory

-Any basic information that you headcannon for them!

I hope you have fun with these! I’m sorry for requesting so much, let me know if I should back up for a bit!! Again, do not feel obligated to write any or all of these! I hope you have an amazing day/night!! -🖤

lol this is fun

Slashers + Sawyer Family x s/o on period!

Nubbins Sawyer

Girl

He’s not going to know what to do

If you send him out to get pads or something he will really try

He really will

Put probably will end up getting side tracked and coming back with roadkill

Or if he somehow stays on task panic and comes back with like, napkins 💀💀💀

We love Nubs

But yeah he needs someone’s help

But on your period he will be super clingy

Doesn’t really get it but if you feel like being cuddled he will cling

3/10

Chop Top Sawyer

Ok

He’s not much more useful than Nubbins

Like I think if you asked him to get pads he’d be like just let me lick the blood off you

Also yeah

He’s gonna try to have sex with you on your period

And if you don’t feel like it he will get pissed at you

But if you send him out to go by pads he doesn’t know what to do

And he would make you have sex with him first because he’s a little bitch like that

And would bring you back the wrong thing

-2/10

Bubba Sawyer

He would ask Sissy or Drayton for help

He wants to buy you pads and make sure you feel good

Would make you tea and he’s the best one to be sprung when it’s your time of the month

Kinda avoids you though because you got hormonal one time and yelled at him 🥹

He makes you tea though and gives you massages and princess treatment

He does manage to buy pads with success though

But he gets you like

Massive ones

Diaper sized things (lol I have a heavy flow literally referring to my own)

But he’s so sweet and just wants you to stop hurting

10/10

Micheal Myers

He breathes heavily, wordlessly

He gives you a simple nod and goes out to get them, pulling a hood up not not freak people out

He actually buys the right kind and size for you

Returns and drops them off at your feet

And leaves to go something else

He won’t take care of you that much

But if you ask for something specific he will usually comply

5.6/10

Billy Loomis

He would smile a bit and nod “Of course, sweetheart.”

He would snuggle with you too

He goes to get you the pads, he actually gets the right size and everything

Lots of cuddles

He’s clingy in a more romantic way than Nubbins, Nubs is more dark puppy clinging and he’s more ill take care of you

He would definitely take care of you

9/10

Stu Macher

He does reluctantly get them for you

But in the wrong size

Gets them also wayyyyy too big- massive body sized pads

I feel like he’s similar to chop top with wanting to have sex with you on your period

And whines a bit whenever you don’t but is faster to accept than chop top

Would cuddle with you

5/10

[ghosts-bandwagon]

can we have a headcannon of y/n (female) thats throwing dark humour around everytime and have 141 + Rudy, Alejandro nd konig react to her lmao 🤣

Can we have that? 💜 Thank you

Girl. Literally me. (I give my coworkers whiplash but they dish it pretty good too lmao)

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley:

Might actually get a decent laugh out of him, we’ve all heard his horrendous hilarious jokes, so we all know he can dish it, but can he take it? Depends on the type of humor

If it’s self-depreciating, probably not. Doesn’t really get it? Like he does but he sees you too positively for the humor to click.

Unalive jokes? Definitely not. Hates hearing it from you even if you’re laughing about it, so if you want to make them, you better be cheeky about it (“Head down, sergeant you’ll get spotted.” “Aw sweet, you think so?” You don’t have to be near him or even see him to feel his glare)

Jokes about your traumas? Not super keen on it but if you’re at a point in your life that you feel ok enough to laugh about it, he’s not one to take wind out of your sails (“Damn, this drink hits harder than my dad.” “Sweetheart. Please.”

But if your jokes are similar to his, then your chances of getting a laugh out of him went up exponentially (he thinks he’s so god damn funny and he’s right. king.)

“How do you turn a salad into a Cesar salad?”

“How?”

“Stab it 23 times.” Soap audibly groaned,

“That’s my girl.”

All in all, you’ll get a deep sigh with pinching the bridge of his nose for every joke you make, and maybe you’ll get a pretty laugh from him (god I bet his laugh is so nice 😭)

John ‘Soap’ MacTavish:

(laughs nervously) what the fuck?

He’s heard Ghost’s jokes firsthand, so the dark humor isn’t new to him. He might even laugh with you and crack a few of his own

Honestly, as long you’re having a laugh he’s not really that worried (still a little worried tho)

He trusts that if you’re feeling particularly bad about something, you’d talk to him about it and he’s here for that

He kind of enjoys the theatre of it, the dramatic reactions to something so seemingly mundane,

“So when are you gonna take me out?”

“To dinner? We just ate, bonnie.”

“… not what I meant but I love where your heads at.”

“Not in a million years.” He laughs kissing your temple and squeezing you against him

“So you’re saying there’s a chance? It’s just a matter of when, got it. Thanks babe, I owe you”

John Price:

He’s not thrilled about it but he’s worked with Ghost so he’s somewhat built a tolerance

He knows you sometimes use dark humor as a coping mechanism but he’ll tease you saying you should come with a warning label

He’s definitely choked at hearing some of the things come out of your mouth, at least the jokes relating to your own traumas, those always give him whiplash

He finds your situational dark humor much funnier than anything you might say that involves you being harmed, even if it is a joke that’s kind a nightmare scenario for him

Those will definitely get a chuckle out of him, just please stop making jokes about yourself, he loves you a little too much to stomach them

“What does my dad have in common with Nemo?” He refuses to answer, he knows, he fucking knows

“They both can’t be found.”

God damn it, sweetheart

Kyle ‘Gaz’ Gerrick:

He’ll join you for sure lmao

He’ll see you sparring on the mats with Soap and he sees you land a particularly rough kick that he managed to block

“Damn babe, that was clean. Now do it right here.” He’s pointing at his temple, you laugh and throw your sweaty towel at him

You’re out on recon and you’re making your way towards the targeted area,

“I’d be terrible if I was discovered, sure hope there aren’t any snipers to take me out. That’d be awful.”

Price groaned even as Kyle stifled a chuckle,

“Come on, love, we’re a bit too good to let that happen to you.”

“That’s the real tragedy, honestly.”

“Enough, you two.”

König:

He thinks you’re funny but low key a little worried at how easily the jokes come to you

But if you’re laughing and having a good time, then so is he!

Sometimes you really do say some crazy things and he doesn’t know whether to laugh or to hug you

He likes the jokes that have nothing to do with you much better, you’d be sitting at a briefing in the far corner when you lean in and whisper quietly,

“Köni, what’s red and bad for your teeth?”

“Hm?”

“A brick.”

He stifles a laugh and shakes his head, you can see the corners of his eyes crinkle as he tries to hide the smile.

Alejandro Vargas:

Honestly, he kind of gives me the vibe of “telling a joke becomes receiving a lecture”

Like you’ll make a joke and look at him and he’s deadpanned,

“Mi amor, that’s no laughing matter.” And then he goes into a full lecture about why what you said was out of pocket and a little hurtful

It’s not that he doesn’t understand the humor he’s just concerned

But, he prefers the goofier jokes I feel like,

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.”

“Mensa.” He pushes your shoulder playfully with a laugh.

Dumb jokes like that get a good laugh out of him, just don’t make them about you please he loves you so much and he will lecture you

Rodolfo Parra:

Mortified in Spanish

“Mi vida, please don’t make those jokes.”

They break his poor little heart :( he loves you so much it makes him sad to hear make such harsh jokes about yourself or even see such awful things

He sighs every time he hears one of your jokes and gives this look 🥺

He doesn’t like that you joke about yourself or the things that have happened to you like that

He understands that humor is sometimes a coping mechanism, but he’d much rather talk through the things you’re joking about

He just cares about you so god damn MUCH

But if they’re nonsensical, then he’ll chuckle quietly,

“You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving.”

“What? Amor you definitely-”

“You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.”

“Dios mío, amor.” He chuckles.

[snakewithawitchhat]

Jealousy Headcannon

Sun Wukong x GN Reader

Includes: Two bonus endings at the bottom :P

♤Wukong would most definitely get really jealous super easily. If you get too close to someone (or they you), he'll probably intervene. Most of the time, when he gets jealous, it's because you're relying more on someone other than him. He's supposed to be your partner! It's his job to make you feel better!

♤At first, it would be very unnoticeable. He'd just get a little quieter around you. He'd brood more. If your relationship with this other person continues, he'll start sending glares and intimidating them with threats. He'll be obvious in his dislike of them, openly explaining it to you, them, and anyone that will listen.

♤If you ask him what's wrong, he'll say it's nothing. He's not going to try to be a "burden" to you. If you keep pestering him about it, though, he'll tell you that he doesn't like how close you are to that person and how he hates how little attention he gets now. He'll feel a lot better with that off his chest.

♤If you ignore and/or don't notice it, his jealousy will grow and grow. He'll get more agitated, quiet, and much less of the laid-back Monkey King everyone knows him to be. He'll ignore you a lot of the time and snap at you easily.

□Good End (mostly fluff)

Wukong looked on the brink of tears as guilt burned his throat. He hated to be a burden on you. He didn't want his problems to weigh you down. He expected you to be angry or annoyed… not so… sympathetic. He froze in place when he felt your arms wrap tightly around him, squeezing away his stress. "I-I thought you'd be angry…"

"Never. This is bothering you, love. I'm not gonna get mad at you for your own emotions. After all… I'm your partner, too…"

His expression softened as he buried his face into your shoulder. His arms shakily snaked around you, pulling you closer as his body eased.

■Bad End (angst, yandere-ish themes)

Sun Wukong's claws dug into the bark of a tree as he glared holes into your back. How dare you. He thought you loved him! He thought you'd never betray him. That's what you promised, after all. But, no. You were busy and couldn't hang out with him again because of that stupid, stupid friend.

His breathing quickened, a small growl rumbling in his throat. That idiotic friend of yours would pay for this. It was all their fault. They brainwashed you. They took away all of your attention. All of your love.

If only he could get rid of them.

…

If he did, he could make you love him again.

Notes:

Just a quick little thing. I'm good at writing dark themes like this, but I tried to add some fluff, just in case. I love me some obsessive Wukong.